Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
