Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
