I'm going to jail i love you
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
