I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
