is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just cropdusted the office
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
