I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This house was built for laser tag.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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