You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
