Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
