You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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