She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
