I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just google imaged poop.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
