You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
