ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
