is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
