Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
