Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Enjoy the penises
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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