The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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