Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
