Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
