i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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