420 ftw
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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