They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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