Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
In other news, I just burned my penis
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
