i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
