so that wasnt chicken after all
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
