Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
