Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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