i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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