oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
