hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
