Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
