i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
