what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
