I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
