I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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