Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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