who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
