I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
