Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
