Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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