You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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