South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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