That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
