If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
