what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we made out on top of his cat.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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