Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
