Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
