Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
