he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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