i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
