she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
