it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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